There is a local sports bar, Sliders, where I live that has awesome buffalo wings. Their wings come in many varieties but I always get the Insane wings which would do in a normal palette!

They have a Deadly Dozen challenge where you have to eat one dozen of their hottest wings in under a half hour. Their wings are coated in their secret sauce made from Ghost (Naga Bhut Jolokia) peppers which are the hottest in the world!

The challenge has many rule including:

  • You must eat all the wings, down to the bone, in under a half hour.
  • You cannot share them with anyone.
  • You can only drink alcohol during the challenge.
  • You can only eat the wings, celery, and dab of bleu cheese they give you.
  • You have to endure a 10 minute after burn after you have eaten the wings where you cannot eat or drink anything!
  • Oh yeah, you must sign a waiver absolving them of any and all liability before you start!

So, I had to try this. Many others have tried but only a handful have succeded! Earlier in the day, a friend of mine did it and set a new record for finishing the wings in the quickest amount of time - just under 4 minutes! Now the pressure was on. I had to not only eat the fire wings but also beat his time.

Before I could order the ghost pepper wings, I had to sign a waiver saying they were not liable if I ended up in the hospital or burned off any sensitive body parts.

Deadly dozen ghost pepper wing challenge waiver.
The waiver I had to sign - you know these are going to be HOT!

TheScarms signing the ghost pepper wing challenge waiver
Signing the ghost pepper wing challenge waiver.

So now the fun, uh, pain, starts. As soon as the buffalo wings come, you have to start eating them. My strategy has always been when eating mouth burning, stomach melting habanero sauces to eat fast and don't stop until you are either done or dead.

When the wings came I took my last sip of liquid and started immediately. I finished the first six jolokia coated wings in two minutes flat! New record here I come. If I could keep up this pace I would beat my friend's record.

Six firery ghost pepper wings done, six to go.
Six fiery ghost pepper wings down, six to go.

Well he was there cheering me on and shouting encouragement like "I brought you a bottle of Pepto Pismal for when you are done" and "don't worry, I was only doubled over at my desk at work for the next three hours!" Yep, poor sole, he did it during his lunch hour. At least I had the luxury of suffering in my own home after I did it.

I ate as fast as I could but my strategy was flawed. I ate the smaller wings first and when it came time for the larger ones, I was getting full. This slowed me down and made me to realize I could no longer feel my lips! My eyes and nose where running uncontrollably, and my mouth was on fire. The meager amount of blue cheese they gave me was gone so there was no relief available. But my friends kept rooting for me so I foolishly continued.

Starting to hit the ghost pepper wall
I started to hit the ghost pepper wall!

I soon realized there was no way I could beat my friend's record so I stopped trying. Instead, I concentrated on ignoring the burning sensation throughout my entire mouth, throat, and stomach, wiped my eyes and nose for the millionth time, and powered on to finish the deadly dozen wings in 9 minutes, 15 seconds. Not a record but respectable. Hey, most people quit long before this!

The 10 minute after burn period really was not bad. At this point my brain threw its hands up and stopped processing the pain signals coming from every part of my body. I actually felt okay and didn't drink for another ten minutes or so later. Maybe because I didn't know if I still had lips left and didn't want my drink to come drolling back out of my mouth!

10 minute after burn
Enduring the 10 minute after burn!

Honestly, it was HOT but I have had hotter in the past. Shortly afterwards I was back to feeling normal with no regrets about eating several million scoville units of the world's hottest pepper. That is, until the bhut jolokia sauce burned its way to my stomach and the pain spasms began.

Every half hour or so the ghost pepper sauce would erupt inside me and cause the most horrific pain you could imagine. Fortunately, the spams only lasted a minute although at the time it seemed like an eternity. As the night went on, they subsided and I only experienced three or four during the night.

All in all, not bad, no bleeding bowels, no lasting effects, I even went mounting biking the next morning!